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the Aspiring Steward

Cleaning Up What's No Longer Mine

Posted on January 28, 2020January 28, 2020

Graduating, cleaning up, and moving on is a part of life. This poem centers on ideas I have recently experienced about moving out of one chapter of life and into the next. A proper transition allows the new chapter to bring along a part of the past. The continuing rhythm forms the launch point for new adventures. Read along and you may figure out what the image below represents.

The starry sky on my son's ceiling continues to look over everything going on in the room.

Those Stars Will Always Shine

The child is gone, flown the nest
You pack them up and move the stuff they want, the rest is left.
The room of a child is stripped, left vacant and empty,
except its not. Memories and miscellany pervade the space.

Open the door and breathe in the fragrances;
your nose fills with sweaty socks, pet odors, and stale Doritos.
Look around and soak in everything left behind
the unwanted things prompt recollections, nonetheless

Conjure thoughts and dreams and fun times shared
whether it's building Lego cities or fighting action figure battles.
The toys have disappeared or thrown, in pieces, into a box
Worn t-shirts from sizes long ago gather dust in a corner of the closet

The paint is all messed up and needs a lot of detail and cleaning
A stick figure peeks eerily from the wall around the dresser
Kool-aid spots the carpet and Play-doh glues strands together
The shade is ripped from constantly being pulled too hard

I glance up at the ceiling and chuckle to myself
It's dark blue paint with dayglo stars pasted in astrological patterns.
Seems like yesterday...we decorated this room for a kid with big dreams
Now, that kid graduated ready to explore their own dream

The room has a new dream too. It wants a new identity
It's time to clear the place out. Remove the dog-eared posters
and agonize over third-place trophies and scribbled artwork
You hate to throw it out but no one steps up to keep it

Once it is all removed, you're left with a well-worn shell of a room
yet, its soul feels awakened and yearns for a new start.
Fresh beginnings invite energy into your spirit and limbs
Plastered holes form a polka dot canvas over these healed walls

Your mind now focuses squarely on the future
Paint applied generously to the walls. Not a kid's color,  gentler
The trim is fixed, A shade is bought and hung.
Likewise, new bedding, curtains, and pictures for the walls
It's a fresh start made over with grown-up tastes straight from IKEA

That dark blue ceiling with a universe of stars remains alone
Planets and galaxies glow vociferously when darkness rises.
Their refracted light navigates the mind into a deep trance
to captivate and move you to a celestial state of mind 

Those stars remember and reign over the memories
They still see the kid staring at their glow in awe
Wondering to which far-out places their life may lead, and
follow dreams like rocket trails deep into that unknown space

I'm not glad it's over but I must move on. I cannot, nor should I go back
We cannot reach for more if we let our lives stand still
That room houses great memories, but it's time to move forward
My baby has grown out of childhood. His room has graduated too 

Author’s Note

Some moments strike and you know, immediately, you will remember them long after this time has passed. You experience a strong, ominous feeling that something larger is at hand. Just such a feeling captured my mind recently as I witnessed someone pass from child to adult. I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on this transition. The emotions continue to oscillate between embracing the new while trying to let go of the old. The preparation started long ago carried us through to this day of independence and it will continue.

I put a great deal of time in setting up his room and decorating that ceiling. Layers of blue paint and pages of glow-in-the-dark stars. We spent hours playing under that “sky”. I feel blessed to have been a part of that space and his life. Something old, something new, and something dark, dark blue.

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