This article was originally intended to be part two in a series aimed at providing perspective on problem solving using the story of Joseph, from biblical times, his 11 brothers, and his father, Jacob, as a backdrop.
If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you may recall I penned an article about problem solving using the historical biblical figure of Joseph as an illustration. In that first article, I focused on the problem from the perspective of Joseph’s brothers and their accompanying guilt as they threw Joseph into the well to gain more attention from their father.
Since then, I have tried to write part two multiple times. Unfortunately, it never came together. On this last go, I finally figured out why. It’s because the theme from Joseph’s perspective is about recovering from poor decision making, not how to solve problems. Joseph wasn’t solving anything. He needed to recover, or bounce back, from the situation his brothers created from their poor efforts to problem solve. His story dealt with the aftermath of other people’s faulty decisions. While his brothers felt guilt, Joseph was left abandoned and alone.
Had I focused on the theme of bouncing back from a poor decision, I would have finished this article long ago. To finally finish this thought, I’m going to skip the analogy and just give you a couple of quick hits to tie the bow on Joseph.
For the Last Time
I center my thinking on 2 things when I’m bouncing back from being on the wrong end of a decision that negatively effects my life: What’s my best step forward and who’s with me on that path? Rather than getting stuck re-living the situation and what-ifs, I focus on my actions.
For example, after I lost my job in 2018, I didn’t want to sit in the aftermath of the break-up situation for too long. Instead, I packed my things and headed out to the woods. I tired myself out hiking around the woods and streams of Red River Gorge. I spent that time thinking and processing those thoughts into potential, future ideas. When I outline my next steps, I organize my thoughts into 3 groups:
- Talent – what do I do well?
- Passion – which activities allow me to lose track of time?
- Place – where can I go to apply these talents and passions?
My thoughts over those couple of days led me to this blog page. Putting my ideas into written form forced me to be concise and led me to explore my values more deeply. My self perception has improved tremendously from where it was 6 years ago. Along the way, I even figured out how to let go and be more vulnerable with my readers. It’s been a liberating experience.
When I did bounce back to a leadership role in 2020, I returned with more openness and vulnerability to my style. I had enhanced my talents and ignited deeper passion resulting in the most rewarding mentorship opportunities of my career. I am winding down that role now, but I cannot wait to watch where this team of people takes their talents from here.
Unexpected Support
Once I determined my path to bounce back, I needed to identify support. A new path required me to allow people to hold my hand and help me take the next step. I’ve always been a person to do it on my own. I’ve found it easier if you let others help, and many actually enjoy helping. This was a game-changing revelation for me.
At other times, I needed a sharp kick to get me up off the floor. I thought I knew the people that would give me a tough bit of advice. Or, an honest assessment of my present course. Unexpectedly, I’ve found that hasn’t always the case. Fortunately, I have discovered people willing to provide meaningful counsel.
Through my most recent situation, I’ve come to realize that God (or whatever power you may believe in) puts a variety of people into your circle. Some were the people I expected to be there. But others were those that I met during my bounce back period. Still others, whom I had counted on, moved away from me completely. My new support circle offered what I needed at the time. I have been so blessed by people’s generosity and humanity. These people supported me to become a better version of myself.
Off the Bounce
When you are fresh off emotional trauma, take time to reflect. Remember the good times and appreciate what you really enjoyed about the experience that just ended. Use those positive memories to set your course to taking your next step forward.
There is no guarantee that you will find a course quickly. But, if you maintain focus and support, you will bounce back. After all, everything bounces, even dead cats. I love that expression 🙂
Love the perspective. I never thought of recovering as a bounce back. But it makes complete sense. Figuring out what support you have or even could expect seems to be the key.
Thank you for the insight.